A Life Lesson

I had an interesting day yesterday. A close friend of my husbands family passed away a few weeks ago. As they were from Newfoundland there were lots of people that came to pay respects to our friend Randy. We loaned his wife and family our holiday trailer for family to stay in so they could all be together.

Yesterday we went to pick up our trailer and as we sat with Randy's wife Marilyn she said some very big things that I think we all need to consider as we walk through life.

Randy and Marilyn were married 48 years. Quite an accomplishment these days. They did absolutely everything together. They very rarely left their farm without each other and spent every day being and doing things together. It is a beautiful story really, the love they had for each other right until the day Randy died. It was like the honeymoon lasted all those years. They respected each other and never overlooked an opportunity for a hug, or a squeeze and a "You know I love you right?"

Marilyn explained that loosing a spouse is different for everyone. People with jobs, friends, hobbies all have those things after the death of a spouse. They have support and things to continue to do. Marilyn didn't have those things. She retired to a farm near Ponoka and didn't make friends. Who needs friends when you have such a wonderful husband right?? Wrong. Marilyn feels like she has nothing. Everyone can go on living and the center of her world is gone. Her advice to us was make friends, find hobbies and interests outside of your spouse. Create a life so that when your kids leave home or you loose your special someone you still have pieces of the puzzle that can still be intact while you work through the emotions of loosing a big piece of your puzzle.

Another thing to consider in this balancing act called life.

When Pigs Fly

I have a friend who will remain nameless. He has been encouraging me to make my blog posts more personal so here is one for ya.

I have a confession to make. I HATE animals. There I said it.Don't JUDGE ME. I have hated animals for 15 years. So considering that I am not 15 years old clearly at one point I DID like animals. But then something happened. Something so horrible that somewhere inside without even realizing it I made an unconscious decision that I would never care for an animal again.

Here is the story....

When I was 17 my boyfriend at the time got me a puppy. This puppy was a golden lab cross. I named him Snoop Dog. I loved Snoop more than anything and just a few weeks after I got him I came home from work and he came running down the stairs to greet me and I ran him over with the truck.... Wow.. that was even hard to type. Ya, I ran him over. I was DEVASTATED! I cried for days and it was horrible. It still hurts just as much as it did back then... ok I'm crying now.. thanks ...

Fast forward to this month. I met some friends through my hubby that breed long haired chihuahuas. They have like 4 or more dogs in the house and the first time I was there I was NOT comfortable.. (Remember I hate animals) After going out there a couple of times and holding the new puppies (cause seriously I'm not an ice princess and who can resist a cute puppy... it's like holding a baby and then giving it back to it's sleep deprived mother and getting a good nights sleep.) I started to like them. But I wouldn't tell anyone.. not even my husband... I mean I have an image to uphold right?

Anyway... since last weekend all I have thought of is if I could see myself with a dog... and not just any dog... the dog that I had named at the farm. I named him Bean. (as in coffee bean). But when I facebooked my friend to see if he was sold she told me that a lady from Calgary wanted him. Funny enough I sat in front of my computer and wept for Bean. The puppy that had softened my heart after so many years. He was going to someone else. Our friend said that a new litter of dogs had just been born and I could pick one of those if I wanted...

Here's the thing.. it's not about getting A puppy... it was about getting Bean..... and if I can't have Bean then I don't want a dog.

So here is my news.... I am getting a puppy. And his name is Bean. And I love him...

But you will never hear me say it out loud... so don't ask.

Old Boy's Club

On the weekend I went snow shoeing and out for dinner with a large group of ladies. (Smart, educated, passionate, movers and shakers shall we say.) During dinner we got into an interesting conversation about politics in Alberta. Although we all come from different political backgrounds, the consensus was the same. We rant and rave about voter turnout. We blog and talk about why it is so important to vote and wonder where this apathy comes from when it comes to electing our leaders.

Everyone at our end of the table agreed, that people are apathetic to the "Old Boy's Club" that IS politics. The majority of our leaders fit most or all of this criteria
1. Male
2. Over weight
3. Balding
4. Over 45

What is sexy and glamorous about that?? People want to be inspired. Talk is cheap. We don't want a health minister (or any other minister for that matter) telling us to be healthy or preaching a message that they, themselves personally don't follow. We live in an age of people worshiping people (celebrities) and when we think about our leaders, having the brains to do the job isn't cutting it anymore.

The conversation during dinner then turned to Wildrose Alliance leader Danielle Smith. Nobody could dispute that a young, healthy, female under the age of 45 wasn't the best choice for a party leader. Although most of the ladies didn't agree with policies of the party, their selection in a leader says something. They are more engaged with a younger demographic.

People want leaders they can relate to. They want leaders that are engaging and they want to feel like their opinion matters. Look at Nenshi in Calgary or Melissa Blake in Wood Buffalo.

When Ed announced last week that he was stepping down my first though was to an author and MLA Doug Griffiths. He's a small town guy making ripples with his speech and book "13 Ways to Kill Your Community". I blogged about his book a couple of months ago. Here is a guy, under 40, takes care of himself, uses social media to engage with younger people and clearly has his heart in the right place. He is the kind of guy that you are naturally drawn to and WANT to follow because he inspires people. I may not agree with all that the Conservative Party has to offer, but Doug makes me WANT to follow him. He has that charisma and energy that is rare.

Who knows what the next year or two holds for Alberta and politics. All I know is that unless the "Old Boy's Club" transforms itself ... we will be complaining about the same things 10 years from now and that gets old and boring really fast.

Do me a favour and encourage more women and younger, passionate male leaders to get involved and change our political landscape.

Out of the Tap

Yesterday I attended (for the first time) a community workshop put on by the Red Deer River Watershed Alliance. When I got the invite through a friend on facebook my first thought was "That's odd.. why would THEY invite ME to a meeting about water? " Mine was a last minute decision to attend and I am sure glad I did. I was a little nervous however, wondering what kind of people attend these sort of things.

Water is a very complex issue I have learned. We all use it and we all expect it to be there when we need it. A banner at the event read " A healthy watershed provides the triple benefits of human, ecological and economic health" Once I considered those three things I realized that this goes way further than what my knowledge base was on the subject.

After some brain storming of challenges that we face in regards to water the group of 70 or 80 that were in attendance broke up into smaller groups to brainstorm further. I joined the Agriculture, Forestry and Oil & Gas group. In my past I have lived and worked on a farm, worked for a pulp mill (my dad is also a forester) and we benefit through my husbands job in the oil and gas sector. So although I am not an expert in any of these areas I felt I could relate better to this group then the others.

Here are a few common threads that came out of this workshop

1. Decisions today are being made based on 30 year old data. New data is required to manage our watershed.
2. Guidelines for conservation need to be the same for everyone (urban, rural, industry)
3. We need to stop finger pointing, blaming and deflecting who's responsible for use and pollution and begin to work together (individuals, corporations and governments) to implement solutions.


One thing that came through loud and clear is that people are tired of attending community workshops and public consultations with predetermined outcomes that they feel end up going no where. The best case scenario is that the end report will go forward as suggestions to our government but unfortunately they are under no obligation to read, listen or even begin to make changes. I can appreciate the frustration of those in attendance. Nothing is worse than sharing input, only feel that it is being heard by def ears.

I have to believe that by donating my time to this and other initiatives that ask for public input that some how, someway, I am making a difference to my community.

Thanks for the invite Rene. You have opened my eyes to this complex thing we call water.

Changing My Mind

I have just finished reading Margaret Trudeau's Autobiography titled "Changing My Mind". It was recommended to me by my pal Kim Berube and without much thought I picked it up.
As I chatted with my dad one evening I mentioned that I was reading this book and got to listen to a 5 minute rant on why Pierre Trudeau was bad for Canada and bad for Alberta. Breath dad... it's just a book.

Now considering I am in my early 30's I do not have a memory of the years that Pierre governed Canada and whether good or bad I think we need to learn from the past and from others in order to improve our country and ourselves. Back to the book.

It was not what I had expected (pleasantly). I need to say that I now have a lot of respect for Margaret for sharing her journey of mental illness and I have compassion for her children for what they went to over the years.


10 things about Margaret that are worth mentioning

1. Born and raised in Vancouver
2. Was a "drama queen to say the least"
3.Her life's motto was "Passion over Reason" Pierre's was "Reason over Passion"
4. She was a flower child in every sense of the word - sex, drugs & rock and roll
5. She has battled bi polar disorder her whole adult life
6. Was crucified by the media
7. Margaret was 28 years younger than her first husband Pierre
8. She was the mother of 5 children
9. Her son Michel passed away tragically in an avalanche in November 1998
10. She now works with WaterCan. A registered charity dedicated to providing clean water to the worlds poorest people.

These are just a few highlights of the book. I encourage you (regardless of political party preference) to have a read and open your mind to the idea of mental illness and what it means for the person living it everyday. For those that suffer everyday with bi polar disorder and your families, I hope that this book can be a source of inspiration and strength as you continue with your journey .

13 Ways to Kill Your Community

I have just finished a most incredible book. It is not very often I get really "excited" about a book, but this one really got me stoked.
Quite a few months ago my friend Jon Tupper emailed a copy of Doug Griffiths "13 Ways to Kill Your Community" speech. I was elated to know that there are people that still exist that are truly passionate about community. I felt like someone finally "got it" when it comes to making a community better.

For those that are not aware, 13 Ways was co-written by Wainwright MLA Doug Griffiths and newsman Kelly Clemmer. Together they have written a community changing manual that I think all town councils in Alberta NEED TO READ.

As I read through the book my mind continually drifted to my parents community. They live in the Municipality of the Crowsnest Pass. It is a delightful group of towns in south western Alberta close to the BC border. A real gem of a place, I can't help but look forward to each and every visit. Unlike Canmore or Banff, the Crowsnest Pass is full of history and a hike starts at your front door. They have great little shops and very few box type stores. No matter where you go the scenery is breathtaking and there is no shortage of quaint coffee shops. There are all sorts of tours available in the summer at VERY reasonable prices.

The reason my thoughts would continually land here while reading this book is that as a community they have caused death to their community through negative attitudes. They have so much potential to turn themselves into a wonderful place but I strongly feel that the fear of turning into another "Canmore" prevents them from being successful.

To briefly sum up the book here are the 13 ways in a nut shell that you can kill your community.

1. Don't Have Quality Water
2. Don't Attract Business
3. Ignore your Youth
4. Deceive Yourself About Your Real Needs or Values
5. Shop Elsewhere
6. Don't Paint
7. Don't Cooperate
8. Live in the Past
9. Ignore Your Seniors
10. Reject Everything New
11. Ignore Outsiders
12. Become Complacent
13. Don't Take Responsibility

13 Ways to Kill your Community is on Facebook and Twitter. Doug Griffiths travels all over Alberta giving his 13 Way speech. Every way you can kill your community stems from a negative attitude. The whole premise of the book revolves around a community attitude change.
Something we all can use I think. No matter how great your think your community is, there are always ways to make it better. There will always be people that need an attitude change. The beginning of that attitude change begins with you.

If I had to highlight 1 specific community that has ROCKED the positive attitude it would for sure be Fort McMurray. I have NEVER in my whole life met a group of people that work so hard to highlight all of the great things that there community has. It doesn't take long for negativity to bog you down. Think about living in a place that all you ever hear is bashing from outside communities.... only the negative ever makes the news outside of that community.... that's what community members deal with every day in Fort McMurray. I love reading blogs, tweets, facebook updates about Fort McMurray because they are always full of pride and community spirit. Way to go!!! If you want a top notch example of community pride you need to make the trek up north and experience the "Energy" that is Fort McMurray.

I picked up my copy of 13 Ways at Sunworks in downtown Red Deer. I think I'm going to go buy a bunch and mail them to a few mayor and councils of communities that need some help. And why not?? We all want to be proud to call our place of residence home.

Now go get your copy!!

Do You Feel Safe?

We have had an interesting day. After school my daughter got a call from her friend. Clearly distraught, she told my daughter that someone had broken into her house and they were still there. After calming her down and staying on the phone until her mother arrived we called 911. (we couldn't confirm whether or not the mother had already called).

After having a sick day at home I quickly got some jeans on and took my daughter to be with her friend while the RCMP investigated. As I listened to interviews being conducted and neighbors asking what happened it was interesting to me that even in a real emergency situation, both my daughters friend and her older brother did not think or know to call 911 FIRST before calling the parents.

After the investigation was finished we brought the friend over to our house to spend the night. The little girls dad was grateful that her daughter could go somewhere to take her mind off of what has just happened.

While chatting with one of the officers , the officer said something that really stuck with me. He said that although it sucks that there were things stolen out of the house, the worst part is that this family no longer feels safe in a place that is supposed to be safe.

When you think about where you live.. the street... your living room... maybe even your bedroom... it is a place that is supposed to be your haven.. your place of rest from the outside world. When that place has been invaded.. the trust you have in your home to keep you safe... how do you get that back? Can this family ever have peace again or are they always going to wonder if something worse is going to happen?

As my daughter and I were chatting on the way home we both concluded that the fear that her friend must have felt walking into a house that still had the thief inside would be more than terrifying. It really makes me think about my own personal safety. I have to remind myself that something like this is always possible but that I cannot and will not live in fear.

If you or someone you know is interested in crime prevention strategies both for your home and neighborhood there are a few resources out there that can help. There is Neighborhood Watch in Red Deer. Also a friend of mine (Steve) does security consulting. You can visit his website at www.targetcrime.ca.