Yesterday we went to pick up our trailer and as we sat with Randy's wife Marilyn she said some very big things that I think we all need to consider as we walk through life.
Randy and Marilyn were married 48 years. Quite an accomplishment these days. They did absolutely everything together. They very rarely left their farm without each other and spent every day being and doing things together. It is a beautiful story really, the love they had for each other right until the day Randy died. It was like the honeymoon lasted all those years. They respected each other and never overlooked an opportunity for a hug, or a squeeze and a "You know I love you right?"
Marilyn explained that loosing a spouse is different for everyone. People with jobs, friends, hobbies all have those things after the death of a spouse. They have support and things to continue to do. Marilyn didn't have those things. She retired to a farm near Ponoka and didn't make friends. Who needs friends when you have such a wonderful husband right?? Wrong. Marilyn feels like she has nothing. Everyone can go on living and the center of her world is gone. Her advice to us was make friends, find hobbies and interests outside of your spouse. Create a life so that when your kids leave home or you loose your special someone you still have pieces of the puzzle that can still be intact while you work through the emotions of loosing a big piece of your puzzle.
Another thing to consider in this balancing act called life.
Thanks Beth for posting, very thought provoking and surely a lesson to be learned.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteVery well said Beth. I agree. I experienced this same sort of thing through my divorce. It's so important to have our own interests, friends, and activities that keep us happy. My world centered around one person, and that wasn't too fun for him. Now I am independent and doing things that I enjoy, surrounding myself with people who are from all different places/interests.
ReplyDeleteYou know it's true that losing a husband is losing a big part of who you are, but this post hits the nail on the head. I don't think God wants us to lose our identity as we become one with our spouse. It takes two "whole" people in a relationship. That wholeness includes a strong support network in family and friends, a hobby or job that you can put your hand and mind to and most importantly a relationship with the One who made you. He never leaves us and is the best comforter when a person you love moves further away from you through death or divorce. Good post Beth. A good reminder to stay balanced.
ReplyDelete